


if you can't say it in less than 500 words, don't say it at all

by deplore



Category: Gintama
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-07 02:19:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3157460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deplore/pseuds/deplore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gintama shortfic/drabbles.</p><blockquote>
  <p>1. Takasugi and Kamui flirt, probably. (The flirting is death threats.)<br/>2. Takasugi and Gintoki in the past flirt, probably. (The flirting is attempted murder.)</p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Hey, let’s get hitched,” Kamui says.

Takasugi his pipe out of his mouth and turns to glance at where Kamui’s lying beside him, stomach pressed to a futon and head propped up in his hands. “I didn’t take you to be the type who bothered with pointless ceremony,” Takasugi says.

“Nope,” Kamui replies cheerfully. “Just wondering what you’d say. And you didn’t say no!”

There’s a hint of a smile at the corners of Takasugi’s mouth. “What a coincidence. I was wondering the same about you,” he says. “What made you bring it up?”

“We-ell,” Kamui says, tilting his head thoughtfully. “We kiss sometimes, and kill stuff together, and you’re not a bad opponent either! Can’t ask for much more from another person, really, so I figured no matter what you answered, there’s no loss to me.”

Takasugi puts the tip of his pipe into his mouth and smirks around it. “No love? How cold,” he replies sardonically.

Kamui laughs. “Aw, come on, I’m not a kid. My dad and mom had a shotgun wedding ‘cause my mom got knocked up with me, ya know.”

“Sounds more like animals mating than marriage to me,” Takasugi says. “Though that may be more apropos, in this case.”

“That reminds me, I realized the other day that I’d never seen a beast that smokes from a pretty pipe and plays a musical instrument before I met you,” Kamui says, and laughs lightly.

Takasugi turns towards Kamui, craning his neck to blow a mouthful of smoke into Kamui’s face. “I just know how to sheathe my claws,” he replies. “Unlike you.”

Kamui’s smile does not so much as twitch. “You still haven’t said no,” he says.

“Then let’s get married over the entrance to the River Styx and honeymoon in hell,” Takasugi suggests wryly, “kill Hades, and then make his kingdom our love nest. How about that?”

Kamui laughs. It only sounds a little bit unhinged. “Perfect. Well, then, how ‘bout I send ya over first to get the preparations ready!”

Takasugi smiles. It only goes a little bit haywire at the corners of his lips. “Sorry, but I require at least two heads of influential leaders as part of my dowry. Try again in a few months.”

 “Eh, really,” Kamui says. “Forget I even brought it up, then. I’m going to sleep, good night.”

 

* * *

 

Outside the bedroom, Abuto sighs. “They’re flirting,” he says. “I think.”

Bansai shakes his head, gets up, and walks away.

 


	2. Chapter 2

At some point, they settle upon an unspoken agreement of sorts: whoever wins whenever they have a fight gets to choose the arrangements the next time that they have sex. An unusually long winning streak by Gintoki assures that for an entire month, Takasugi is on the receiving end every single time. Unsurprisingly, it is not a fact that sits well with Takasugi, and after a particularly rough round that leaves the both of them a little winded just lying down, he asks, “Why do you like putting it up my ass so much, huh? Are you that fixated on it?”

“It’s because you make these cute faces whenever I do you,” Gintoki says flatly, picking his nose with his pinky. “Just kidding, of course. Who the hell could get off to your face?”

Takasugi takes a deep breath and arrests the urge to separate Gintoki’s head from his neck before he can act upon it. “You get off on it just fine, you bastard,” he replies, sneering.

“Eh? Ah? Why does Takasugi-kun sound so proud of being able to make Gin-san get off?” Gintoki asks. “That’s pretty filthy, you know.”

“Alright, that’s it,” Takasugi says, dragging himself up off of the futon and grabbing his sword from where it lays strewn on the floor. “Right here, right now. I’m settling this argument once and for all.”

Gintoki rolls over to narrowly avoid getting a loving hole stabbed straight through his abdomen, scrambling with an incredible lack of grace to grab his own sword in turn. A scuffle later, and Takasugi has him on his stomach, hands pinned behind his back.

“Hang on for a moment here, Gin-san doesn’t believe in violence,” Gintoki says weakly as he attempts to throw Takasugi off to no avail.

Takasugi smirks and leers. “Too bad,” he replies. “Gin-san’s ass is mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takasugi back in the day was my kind of cute. On the other hand, current Takasugi is exactly the kind of character I like to hate on because I like him : )


End file.
